Who I Am -- two for the price of one

I already picked out my blog topic earlier this week and then I had a revelation.  Torn between the two subjects, I decided to post about both topics.

First, reconciliation.  A very important word to me.  My husband and I reconciled after I betrayed him.  It was such.a.hard.road.  And it wasn't easy for me either.  That was kind of a joke; but seriously, with my betrayal, no matter what I felt, my husband was feeling it tenfold.  The reconciliation process was by far the hardest thing either of us had ever done.

So when one of my dear small group sisters suggested we all take a look at the chart on page 107 of "A Confident Heart" and pick a "Who I am" statement and type out the scripture, my eye was immediately drawn to the "Who I am" statement that touched on reconciliation.  
I wrote:  I am a minister of reconciliation for God.  Then I typed up the most amazing scripture (2 Corinthians 5:17-21).   Then I verse mapped it by adding my name.  In a nutshell, I am saying, "I am in Christ; I am a new creation.  The old things I have done have passed away; behold, new things have become for me.  And all this is from God, who has reconciled me to himself through Christ and given me the ministry of reconciliation."

That, to me, is mind-blowing.  I have gone through the process of being forgiven and now I can see that I am made anew.  I am not being labeled by my previous actions.  As a matter of fact, not only am I not being labeled, or judged, by my previous actions, I can serve to help others.  Amen!

The other topic that I need to touch on is also dealt with in Chapter 6.  Self-doubt.  We all do it.  It wasn't until after reading this chapter and painting my bathroom that I can see how easily we do it.  Here's the story I shared with my small group yesterday:  

Sometimes self-doubt is self-inflicted. This happened to me just yesterday. Fortunately, I had read Ch. 6 and could recognize where I was headed. Here's what happened: I finally got around to painting the front bathroom, the one that had blue tape on it for about 3 weeks. I was in the bathroom, getting ready to start, and my husband, who was in the kitchen, yelled a question to me. I couldn't hear him but I assumed I knew what he asked. Long story short, we both got upset because I didn't know what he asked and he didn't know why I replied the way I did. So, I'm in the bathroom and I'm upset. Because I'm upset, I'm not careful and I splatter paint. I get more upset, and splatter more paint. Then I think, "I can't even paint!" 

What???? How did I get to that idea so quickly? Like I said, I had just finished reading Ch. 6 so I knew I was creating this self-doubt myself. Fast forward a couple hours -- the bathroom is finished and I realize I can paint! 

This thought process falls right in line with what I had just finished reading in "A Confident Heart."  Author Renee Swope discussed in Chapter 6.  She writes that "in the same way a radio has AM and FM frequencies, so do our thoughts."  AM equals "against me" and FM equals "for me."

One AM/FM thought that she wrote in the book fits right in with my bathroom painting scenario.  "When doubt comes against me, saying I'm not good enough for a certain role or position (painter), I will remember that God is for me!  He says I am His masterpiece, created to be new in Christ so that I could do good things He planned long ago."  (John 3:16; Eph 1:4-5)